I know what I should be doing, why am I not doing it?
Part 2: The Time Trap
”I want to do this, but I have no time. I’m so busy. Sorry, I meant to get this done, but…” We’ve all been there. There simply aren’t enough hours in the day. Between work, working out, laundry, taking care of others, and taking care of ourselves, we’re already at 30 hours. And we’re supposed to also meditate and learn new things and spend time with friends and deep clean the refrigerator? How?
We’ve established that most of us don’t have enough time in the day. Then if you often ask yourself why you aren’t doing the things that you “should” be doing (I hate the word “should”, but that is a story for an entirely different post), why you aren’t doing the things that would make you feel good, move toward your goals, it’s important to also look at how we manage time. In the last article I talked about how quick hits of dopamine can derail our plans to stay consistent with new habits, but our schedule can be just as much of a hurdle as dopamine. In a society that pushes hyper-productivity, we have a tendency to over-schedule ourselves. In turn we often end the day feeling like we’ve fallen short, like we’ve not done enough. Our brain then, exhausted, often turns “I’ve not done enough” into “I am not enough.”
A note on privilege… Not everyone works with the same amount of time availability in the day. Some of us start out with more privilege than others, with more time available to us than others, whether it may be because of social status, financial status, background, physical location, current situation, people to care for, the list goes on and on and on.
So be kind to yourself and work with what you have in the moment. If we end up finding 5 minutes or 5 hours, it doesn’t matter.
Over the past decade I’ve had the pleasure of working with individuals from different backgrounds and I’ve learned that there is always something that can be adjusted creatively to free up some breathing room – nobody’s calendar is 100% optimized all the time, and that’s completely normal.
Knowing that we’re short on time, stuffing more things on top, like meditating or reading or learning a new language seems impossible – because it is. That saying about having to empty the cup first? It’s true. We have to slow down, clear out, make room before we ever add.
Here’s the kicker though, we tend to want to get to the solution right away, so we either just drop new things into our calendar (but we’re no longer doing that after reading this article, right?) or we just rip things out. I’m proposing becoming more intentional before doing anything.
By observing and assessing our schedule every so often is valuable no matter where we are in life, because it forces us to be intentional. Before making quick actions, we get to evaluate what works, what doesn’t, and we do this with concrete data in front of us. Because life evolves and we evolve, it’s important to keep checking in with ourselves, to see if there are little things we can do to optimize things.
Note: Be patient with yourself as you adjust your schedule, and know that there is never that “one perfect schedule” that solves all problems. Play with it. Try things out. Life evolves and so should your schedule!
Let’s talk about actual next steps:
Step 1 – Observing
FFor the next week, log the time of what you’re doing – and here’s the key – without judgment. You can create a simple spreadsheet for yourself, in 30 minute increments (or create a separate calendar in your phone that runs parallel to your normal calendar) and log what you do all day, including sleeping, getting ready, commuting, social media, etc.
At the end of the day, give a quick 0-10 score on how much you enjoyed this day, how your energy felt and write a few sentences about it.
Step 2 – Assessing
Once you’ve completed 7 days, look at the entire week and start looking for patterns.
Some patterns to consider:
Sleep – are you sleeping enough, and consistently?
How many hours do you spend on allowing yourself to rest and reset?
How many hours do you spend cruising social media?
What could you take out?
Are there things you can pair together to add some more efficiency? (Think: podcast while cleaning, multiple errands in one trip, etc)
Sit with some of these for a few days and observe yourself some more. Gather ideas. We’re still in an information gathering mindset, no actions need to be taken yet.
Step 3 – Adjusting
Only now, once we have a ton of information about our schedule can we go about changing it with intention. This is where the fun starts.
Actually take out some things. Try how that feels, how your energy feels, and once you have a bit of space, maybe 1-2 weeks later, start adding things that you’ve always wanted to try. You have to first let your nervous system slow down before it can pick up new things intentionally.